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October 20, 2020 2 min read

Allowing friends to borrow money from you can be costly. While it can end on a positive note, most friendship borrower/lender relationships end negatively. To help you decide whether or not you should let your friends borrow money, we put this list together of what you should consider.


  1. Your friendship is now at stake.

Money is the number one reason for failed relationships (marriage, friendships, family-ships, and significant others). Everyone has a different path they’ve walked in their financial journey—some worse than others. Finances can be a substantial burden for everyone, and NO ONE needs anyone who will bring them down financially.


Someone who doesn’t have a good relationship with money will more than likely not be able to pay you back. While there is a standard rule of money (Rule: Never lend money you need back), most people aren’t aware of it; they lend money that is necessary with the impression they’ll get the money back. Once they don’t receive the money, there becomes a trickle-down effect of people in financial binds where there is a need for cash.

     2. You could lose your money.

You should never give any money that you need. If you need it for any reason whatsoever, do not give it. Any money you give someone is simply that, a gift. If they pay you back, great. If they do not pay you back, it was a gift, and it is more blessed to give than it is to receive (Acts 20:35).


Even if you had a borrower/lender term agreement, where you lend someone money, and they agreed to pay you back, there still isn’t guarantee they’ll pay you back.

     3. They may ask for more.

Everyone has gone through hard times, and they’ll likely go through those hard times again. This leads to the next point.

    4. You enabled rather than helped.

By continuously giving to family or friends, you shift from being a helpmate to an enabler. Rather than helping your friends by acknowledging their financial challenges, you give them the easy way out. Hence the reason for them always asking for more.

    5. It’s awkward asking for money back.

Let’s be honest, no one is as forgetful as someone who owes you money. I’m sure every person who lends money cares about the person who borrowed the money; otherwise, they wouldn’t have given the money. Asking for money can create friction because you don’t want to hurt feelings.

The person who borrowed the money knows they have this hanging over their head; it makes them uncomfortable, leading to a shutdown in communication.


We get that you want to help your friend, but you must think beyond assisting them at a surface level. It may be worth understanding why they need money. No, we aren’t saying to ask “what you need the money for,” but we think it’s important to understand whether they are budgeting and how they are managing their finances. Find out if it is because they don’t make enough money or spend too much on the wrong things? By having this conversation with your friend, you may be able to identify bigger problems.

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